Chamomile

This pretty little weed is really easy to grow, just chuck seeds about and you will find it starts to spread around your locality. Towards the end of the flowering season, take off any remaining dying head and store the seeds for scattering the following spring.

Everyone knows that it is great as a tea, not everyone likes the taste but i recommend that you drink it daily, hourly if possible, whether you like it or not. It will settle a rough stomach, indigestion and keep the demons at bay.

What a lot of people are not so aware of are the healing qualities this tiny flower has. Infused it can also be used as an anti-inflammatory. It is a proven cure for haemorrhoids.

Infuse several flowers in hot water, let it cool in a bowl and sit in it for 20 minutes, you will be relieved instantly and you will suffer no longer.

Try it, i did, it works (if you do not have access to chamomile flowers then tea bags floating in a bowl work as well). No more embarrassing visits to the doctors or sticking tubes and suppositories and nasty creams up your bum!

If you can't be bothered with sitting in a bowl for 20 minutes (i know. . . I know, life is busy, you have no time for healing yourself) try this:

When you are suffering, force yourself to have a cup of chamomile tea, take the tea bag out, give it a squeeze and pop it between your butt cheeks (obviously up by the painful area) and leave it there for as long as poss. Then you can get back to the stresses of checking your email whilst the chamomile works its magic.

I promise you, the supermarket's tea aisle will never look the same again.

Note of caution: if you do use tea bag in butt cheeks method... Please let the tea bag cool down before using - ta