I am not sure when we were sent out for our first fresh air walk, but I will put it in here, I could do with some fresh air (or maybe a cold shower). I walked with Ruth, she had asked me and I had said yes, putting aside the feeling that I would rather like to wander on my own and reminding myself I can do that most days, didn't I come here to learn from other humans after all? The walk is nice, I know exactly what I want and even though I feel like I am strolling Ruth seems to be struggling to keep up and is worried that we might get lost! We are about 400 yards from the gate and she asks 'will you know the way back?" I assure her that I will. I find a tree he is beautiful and strong, settling down for his winter sleep, calming to touch, protective even though bare of leaves.
Next mission to find a bench, Ruth is still worried about getting lost, so we giggle about that. Bench located we sit to chat. We chat. Chatting done and bums getting cold on the wooden bench we arise and manage to find our way back the 600 yards from whence we came. Lunch is good, lots of pasta and cheese; because I have paid money for this I decide to get my worth, pile my plate high and scoff the lot. I know we all chat around the table but my recollection of the event is purely based upon my plate. People are starting to wash up and I think to help, well I hope I did, be a bit rude not to have done so.
Lunch over, and it is time to decide what I really want. I discover that I really want to heal people using plants and stuff, I already knew this but it is good to revisit, to reinforce the plan. It is not what I really REALLY want but to talk about what I really want, in front of people who probably won’t get it, doesn't sit right with me, plus no one is zig-a-zig-ahhh-ing so I figure it’s ok not to bring up my innermost desires.
Ian really wants to be good at something, Dave wants to be back in the old days (when he wasn't being used by some woman (who he knows is going to leave as soon as she gets a life)), Ruth doesn't really know what she wants but mutters something about health and work and I am damn sure the cool guy didn't reveal anything about himself besides the fact that he can carry off a pair of old joggers better than Jesus could sport a pair of sandals.
The program says something about Tea at 4pm, I don't remember any scones and jam being offered, which is a shame because I like scones and jam with afternoon tea and a bunch of jolly people, especially when we have had some breakthroughs in what we want, apart this is besides jogger pants boy who is still deciding whether or not to join us on this retreat.
The change walk (another retreating type exercise) I do remember, mainly because I got Peter all to myself. I know this man has something I want and it is always good to spend one to one time with enlightened humans. I enjoyed this, and did actually recognise some valuable stuff about myself. The other half of the rooms’ participants, Dave and jogger boy, well, I would like to hear that story. I just hope that Davey realised that he was being taken through it by a master of life.
I am drawing a blank on what happened next or in what order. Ate more food which obviously wasn't a patch on the pasta cheese lunch as I have no idea what it was. I seem to remember something about chocolate cake, but I didn't indulge, so diner must have been ok enough for me to stuff myself once again.
I went to the evening service where the monks and nuns danced and sang it was very sweet. I went back to the guest house to chat and drink tea but the two people I want to spend time got up and went in the other room for a private chat, so I went to bed. I managed to sleep pretty quickly, so the day must have been a good one, lots to process.